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- Cornfed: "Assanova, you are going to get us killed!"
- Pssh, please. I see more brown people in the car next to us...
- Me: "Hey brownie! Where's your fucking magical flying camel Kaboobie!?"
- We keep driving...
- Me: "Look at that girl, she's so fucking fat! How can she walk!? It'd probably be easier to just roll to whereever she has to go! Hey fatty! Whereya rollin' to!?"
- Cornfed: "Oh my god, you're so fucking funny! Has anyone ever recorded him when he's drunk!?"
- I see another brown guy...
- Me: "Kaboobie! I know you're hiding!"
- Niggas be trying to act like the magical flying camel Kaboobie doesn't exist. I have proof niggas:
- You've heard it before, attraction isn't a choice, and I stand by it. I don't care who you are, or what type of guy you are, if you have sex appeal, then you have sex appeal. She's never been attracted to a black man, that is, until she met me...
- Cornfed: "Are you coming to 4 Kegs tonight?"
- Me: "Probably not."
- Cornfed: "Why not?"
- Me: "You were boring the last time we went out."
- I go take a shower. A missed call. She leaves a voicemail...
- Cornfed: "Assanova, I'm sorry that I was boring you the last time we went out. Please, just come out. It'll be fun. I promise I won't be boring. Just come. Pleeeeaaaaase!"
- I guess i can come hang out for a little while. Of course I make her wait. Midnight, I finally arrive...
- Cornfed: "Do you not like me?"
- Me: "If I don't like you, I'll tell you."
- Cornfed: "Because when we went out on Friday, you ignored me and left me alone. And on Monday, you just left out of nowhere. Did I do something wrong?"