Not a lower-case single men

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  11. We had to start somewhere, and we started with what I needed/wanted in our relationship. So I gave him my ideas on what taken in hand meant to me. I tried to let him see the benefits a taken in hand relationship could bring to him…sexually available, deferring to his wishes, him feeling more catered to, more considered, me being calmer and feeling more peaceful and relaxed and safe. He liked all that, but it felt like me playing both sides, being the submissively dominant one. So I backed off, and what little control was happening, stopped. Next thing I knew, I was running all over him again and he was letting me.
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  13. But back to the original bit I was replying to, I agree with Frank that there are woman who at first need a strong show of consistent control. Once they feel firmly established in the relationship, that need for strong control may change and be able to met through more mild forms of expression.
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  15. J's Girl
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  17. by J's Girl on 2005 Nov 7 - 00:33 | reply to this comment
  18. We had to start somewhere, an
  19. We had to start somewhere, and we started with what I needed/wanted in our relationship. So I gave him my ideas on what taken in hand meant to me. I tried to let him see the benefits a taken in hand relationship could bring to him…sexually available, deferring to his wishes, him feeling more catered to, more considered, me being calmer and feeling more peaceful and relaxed and safe. He liked all that, but it felt like me playing both sides, being the submissively dominant one. So I backed off, and what little control was happening, stopped. Next thing I knew, I was running all over him again and he was letting me.
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  21. I can't count the hours that I spent frustrated by this very type of thing. And more than once I considered ending the relationship because, from my point of view, he just wasn't getting it.
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  23. Then I realized that everyone is different. Some men fall into this role naturally, and quickly. Others, like mine, need time and reassurance to be able to assume the role, no matter how well it suites them.
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